Well well, here I am at 4:30a.m wide awake working on my web page. It is so frustrating and I honestly don’t enjoy one minute of it. I have to watch YouTube videos to learn how to add pages, links, pics etc. It took me almost 4 hours and for some reason everything looked great on my tablet but when I’d go to see it on my phone everything was different. I know I know breathe Wendy, breathe. Let me tell you when I get mad the first thing that pops in my mind is oh f*$*#(# it I’m gonna get a beer!!!! Yup, it happens. The cravings kick in when I experience extreme emotions or sometimes just because I’m watching tv and people are drinking. For instance I’m watching Pretty Little Liars and I swear every other scene someone is drinking and I’m like man that beer looks good… I even salivate!
I know I’m not the only one that feels this. Then I think seriously all drugs are bad and hard to get away from when you are addicted. Not that I have taken any but, alcohol is EVERYWHERE. I mean how often do we watch a show and every other scene someone is shooting heroin? I can go for a drive and it’s not like Walgreens and Publix have a whole refrigerator section where you can buy heroin, Xanax, adderal, fentanyl, etc. Alcohol is just shoved in our face all the time. Commercials, tv shows, going to the grocery store as soon as I walk in there a stack of seasonal beer is on display like “ look Pumkin beer paired with crackers or pie” or whatever they put out there. It’s not easy.
I do however have techniques that I go through to make myself snap out of it. Here are a few for you to try when the urge kicks in:
1: Just stop and let yourself feel what you have to. Know it will pass and it’s just an emotion.
2: Change the damn channel! Hahah even if it’s just to not watch the drinking parts.
3: Think about how horrible the hangover will be. I for one think about my withdrawals and man man they were horrendous. This is what truly keeps me from drinking.
4: If these fail, grab ice and hold it in your hands till they hurt! The cold will distract your brain from obsessing about drinking to holly sh&@ my hands!!!!!!
5: Go for a drive and listen to music….careful though, many times I’ve ended up at the gas station just parked debating on going in to buy beer.
6: Pick up a brush and paint something…anything, or sometimes I play the guitar and it does help.
7: Pray, to god, the universe or whatever you believe in.
Random 4am thoughts here, hope this helps someone in a pinch. In the mean time here is a painting I’m working on. Helped me stay put!
Your sober buddy:)